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November, 2004

  1. I loved it. Really, I did.

    November 30, 2004 by Collin

    Wendy linked to this in the comment field of Derek’s Thanksgiving post and it was VERY amusing. A slightly less insane Don Herzenfeldt kinda thing. Watch and enjoy: Mr. Otto in “Olympics”

    He also has this and this.

    ALSO this is a cool browse: SNAPS: Community Photoblog

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  2. Those were the days my friend

    November 30, 2004 by Collin

    My first duty assignment in the USAF was at RAF Upper Heyford* in England. Since I was single I was posted to the enlisted dorm and since I was an A1C I had to have a roommate.

    The first roommate I was assigned to was a guy from my shop named Mark Reese. He was a very quiet guy, who rarely talked and kept to himself for the most part. He also chewed tobacco. In spite of this we got along pretty well.

    Over time we started hanging out with another dorm rat named Ken Davis** who was in Avionics as I recall. Ken was the total opposite of Mark. He was large, loud and could put away a serious amount of alcohol. He was a very fun guy to be around. We used to torment the shitkicker contingent of the dorm personnel on Country music night at the base club by playing Ivor Bigguns’ song “Halfway Up Virginia” (I love the internet) as loud as we possibly could on Ken’s stereo over and over. I’m surprised the SPs never showed up. Or some irate Country music fans.

    One afternoon the three of us (his roomie was off doing something for God) were hanging out in Ken’s dorm room watching videos on his kickass VCR*** when from the top bunk where Ken was sitting I heard, “Garrrgh! PLah! MARK! Were you using this Coke can for your SPIT?!”

    Mark just grinned and said, “I guess so, sorry.”

    “Man that’s fucking NASTY! You need to mark your cans or something!”

    Ken had taken a huge drink of tobacco spit tea. It was as funny as it was horrifying. I had learned before that incident to keep my soda close and not drink from anything I’m not sure of around Mark. Ken had to learn the hard way.

    Amazingly he didn’t kill Mark and even eventually even had him as a roommate of his own.

    But that’s a story for another time.

    —

    * I googled RAF Upper Heyford to be sure that I was spelling it correctly (because it has been YEARS since I’ve written it out) and found the site that I linked to. I haven’t given the base any real thought in years, but I just found out from that site that it was closed down 10 years ago.

    I’m absolutely amazed that I feel sad by this. Seriously amazed because at the time I was there I was pretty miserable. The only bright spot really was finally being in England. Yet, in thinking about it that was also the happiest time I spent in the Air Force. Except during chemical warfare exercises of course. It doesn’t help that England was followed up by a year at Dyess AFB in Abilene Texas, “Home of the B-1 Bomber” and all kinds of cow smells and heat.

    Logically I would never be seeing this base again, but the fact that it has closed has shaken me to the core. Bizarre. One of the many thoughts zooming through my head was “I wander what happened to the Peace Campers.”

    I was a member of the 20th CRS in the PMEL (Precision Measurement Equipment Laboratory) shop from 1988 to 1990. For whatever that’s worth.

    ** I found what might be his email address on the duty roster of the linked page and have written to him. I’ll let you know what comes of that.

    *** I’ve never seen a VCR like this one since. I know it was seriously expensive, but it was able to slow down a video to a steady frame by frame playback as well as many other strange video features (like a plasma image filter). It was with this slow playback that we were able to see, in the movie ‘Bad Taste’ by Peter Jackson, a hand holding a bucket toss out the blood as Peter’s character, Derek, hits the rocks among the seagulls. It was fantastic.

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  3. This might keep you busy

    November 29, 2004 by Collin

    while I figure out what to write. The Fridge

    I suppose I could get back to writing about my “obsessions”.

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  4. You would think

    November 29, 2004 by Collin

    that after a 4-day weekend I would have SOMETHING to write about, but I feel so tired right now that nothing’s coming.

    I had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at Derek’s house. In spite of my best effort I passed out on the couch. I only hope I didn’t snore or drool too much. Heather assured me that I didn’t, but she loves me so she may be playing it down.

    Friday afternoon Heather and I braved the crazies out Christmas shopping to go to CompUSA and buy a monitor for my new computer. That proves she loves me. She took what was at least two hours out of her day to spend among the masses shopping for something that didn’t likely interest her at all and she didn’t complain!

    Oh yeah, and I have a new computer at home now. It’s a mixed blessing. I had to take out a loan against my 401k to be able to afford it, and now I’m stuck here until I pay it off. But it’s a mid-range G5 tower, so it’s expandable (unlike my previous G4 Cube) and it SHOULD last me more than 3 years for usability. I didn’t get it set up until late Saturday night and still have a fair amount of tweaking to do.

    And that’s about it.

    I have a strong feeling that I am entering a posting dry spell at least as far as interesting/funny posts go. Or maybe it’s just because it’s Monday.

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  5. This has to be

    November 24, 2004 by Collin

    one of the funniest (to me) Flash movies I’ve seen in ages. Enjoy.Icon War

    And if I don’t get time to post again later I hope that all of my USA visitors have a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow, and my foreign visitors have a nice Thursday.

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  6. Minor update:

    November 24, 2004 by Collin

    Here, here and here I posted about the identity theft attempts that were using the names of CitiBank and SunTrust to gather their data.

    In case you weren’t bored with it all by now, apparently Snopes has the scoop on the scam here. It was interesting for me at least to see how the scam was supposed to work. I had clicked on the link in two of the emails to see what would happen and it just called up a blank screen, so either it doesn’t work against Macintosh users, or it doesn’t work in Safari.

    And unless something major occurs, that’s the last you hear about this from me.

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  7. Since I have nothing for you today,

    November 23, 2004 by Collin

    I give you this: www.ComicCovers.com – Your source for weekly comic book cover scans. Courtesy of Boing Boing. Now back to work.

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  8. One person’s nightmare…

    November 22, 2004 by Collin

    … is another person’s pleasant dream.

    I had a night of sleep that felt like a good, refreshing eight hours, although it was really only about six and a half, tops. Minus a bit for various near-waking incidents.

    I like those kinds of nights.

    Usually they involve wall-to-wall dreaming although most of the time I don’t remember much about the dreams.

    Last night was pretty much the same way. Although I do recall how one dream segment went.

    I was in a classroom, and I had just finished the last of the work that I had been staying late to do when all of a sudden I was surrounded by numerous undead creatures and various other monsters (I recall a Cthulhu kinda thing and a werewolf, as well as others).

    Somehow I ducked and dodged my way out of the room and into the hallway, tore around a corner and hid in a darkened side room. There was a gangly teenager with wild eyes in there already and I asked him if he minded if I stayed there until the monsters had gone.

    At first he seemed to shake his head “no”, but then it turned into that kinda head shaking effect from “Jacob’s Ladder” and he dove at me.

    I slid to the side and slammed him to the ground as he was going past, put my foot against his chest, said, “Well, so much for getting along.” and then shot him in the face.

    Where I got the gun from, I have no idea, but it did the job.

    And then after that the dream moved along an entirely different track that I don’t recall anything of. I think it shifted because my subconscious was wondering about the gun, and rather than wake me it found it easier to change directions.

    Not as pleasant as Heather’s dream, but overall I enjoyed it. And I *think* it may have been partly triggered by some of the board games we saw this weekend while Christmas shopping. They looked like good, creepy fun.

    Or perhaps I’m just weird.

    That’s it for today. Lean, I know. Sorry. I doubt I’ll have anything new to post tomorrow, unless I do it from home tonight. We have to squeeze five days of work into three and we are down one artist. And the “EMERGENCIES!” are already beginning.

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  9. If you happen to need it:

    November 19, 2004 by Collin

    43 Folders: Hack your way out of writer’s block

    I know I can use this once in a while.

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  10. Answering questions: part 2

    November 19, 2004 by Collin

    And this should catch up the questions that I was asked back on the 15th. If there are any more, feel free to ask them in this post’s comments.

    Angela asked:

    Q: What is the biggest lie you ever told, who did you tell it to, and would you change it if you could?

    A: I honestly don’t lie very often, and I never tell big lies. The worst that I tell are social lies, and even then I try to stay as honest as possible. There is a reason for this behaviour, but it would require its own post.

    Q: Why is the sky blue? OR…why is the grass green? (Take your pick…)

    A: The sky is blue BECAUSE the grass is green. And the grass is green because the sky is blue. It’s a vicious cycle. I blame the bunnies.

    Q: If you could travel anywhere in TIME, when would it be, and why?

    A: I would travel ahead to New Years Eve so I could miss all of the ad building on short weeks that is ahead of us. Except for Derek, since he took the week before Christmas off. Again.

    Q: What is the meaning of life?

    A: Recreate, procreate, defecate and don’t be late.

    Q: How many U.S. states have you been in (travelled through counts)?

    A: I go through states like a sobbing woman goes through Kleenex, leaving them crumpled and damp behind me. Let’s see… Most of these are pass-through, and a few are stayed awhile: Colorado (duh), Texas, Oklahoma, Utah, Kansas, Missouri, Mississippi, New Mexico, Arizona, Nebraska, South Dakota, Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania and New York. Not too bad for someone that despises traveling as much as I do.

    Q: What the hell does “lucasarts” mean?

    A: It used to mean “Quality and Creative Adventure Game” but now it usually means “Another Stupid Star Wars Game”. Although they are trying to improve those, it’s slow going.

    AndyC asked:

    Q: What time do you want to play Halo 2 this weekend? I’m thinking Friday night and Saturday morning…what do you think?

    A: I think I didn’t see this in time and never showed up online that weekend. Oops. But my living room looks a lot better now.

    Derek asked:

    Q: Why do you lie so darn much? And don’t say that you don’t…I’ll just call you a “liar.”

    A: Then I guess you’ll have to call me a liar, because I don’t lie so darn much. Not so darn much at all actually.

    Q: What’re you bringing to Thanksgiving?

    A: My girlfriend, my kids, myself and something else that you want me to bring but haven’t told me about yet. You want me to guess or something? Okay… hmmmm… Cheetoes.

    Have a great weekend all! Except for you in the back. You were talking all through my post. I hope you have a real horrible weekend, you rude punk.

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