A little something for you aspiring comic artists that swarm my site…
...ha-ha... via this boing boing post.
Okay, it's partly here for you, but mostly for me. I'm considering doing a page or two for the Global Comic Jam that Jared is involved in. Derek has indicated an interest as well. If I decide to do it I'll certainly let you all know.
Illustration Friday: 2006.01.27 – Glamour
Click for biggification.
Is it glamorous?
As you can see, I chickened out and played it "cute".
Actually, the other idea I had just didn't work out.
Really.
I'm not just saying that.
It bombed.
It bombed as bad as Paris Hilton in anything, including 'House of Wax' and night vision blow job films.
Okay, it wasn't that bad.
But it wasn't good.
That happens sometimes.
Perhaps the next theme will allow me to wallow in my darker self.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
Why do you cross your fingers for luck AND when you tell a lie?
If someone asks you to cross your fingers for them, and you do just that with both hands because you are REALLY rooting for them while saying, "I hope you get it!" – whatever "it" is – how is the finger fairy supposed to know that you aren't really lying?
Does it matter which fingers you cross?
Do thumbs count as fingers for crossing purposes?
Can you cross your thumb and your pinky?
I wouldn't though.
That's probably a gang sign somewhere that will be read as "Yo' mama iz a skizzank!" and get you shot.
Do the fingers have to be on the same hand?
Can you cross the index fingers of both hands?
If you do will it give you the benefits of luck, the ability to lie with impunity AND the minimal tool necessary to keep away vampires?
What if you cross both of your thumbs and flap your fingers?
Will that get you anything other than started at and possibly locked away?
I'm really hoping it will get me a duck.
But I could be lying.
I really need to watch my money.
Not so much how I spend it – although that might be a good idea as well – but the actual money itself, on those rare occasions when I'm using cash rather than my debit card. And lately that's mighty rare.
This past week, however, I had a bit'o cash that I was using for breakfasts, lunches and occasionally dinners and tips. I'd started the week with $100 and by Friday I was down to $2. Yeah, I really need to watch how I spend it.
Heather and I went to 7-11 Friday night to pick up a 2 liter of Diet Pepsi which cost $1.89. I gave the cashier my last two bills and she proceeded to examine them as though I were up to something sneaky. Then a look came over her face reminiscent of the face that I wold have when I changed my infant son's diaper.
I thought to myself, "Oh great. I didn't even glance at the bills. I'll bet someone drew a dick on one of them or something."
She finished her scrutinizing and then said to me, "I can't accept this," and handed the bill back to me.
I took it and looked the face over to see what was wrong. At first it seemed just fine, but then I twigged to what was fishy. It wasn't a dollar bill. It was this (minus the writing I added to avoid jail time – click for bigger):
A Silver Certificate from 1957! I was shocked! I have no idea when it was given to me as change, but man I was tickled! I've never been so glad to have had a diligent counter clerk before in my life! That bill had been circulating for 49 years! I think it's the oldest paper money that I've ever had in my possession. Sure, it probably sat around for awhile during those 49 years, but still!
Here's the other bill so you can compare the faces without cracking your own wallet (same stuff applies on the clicky and jail avoidance):
I told the cashier that it was fine and I would pay for the soda with my debit card. She was still looking at me like I was trying to pull a fast one. Yeah lady, counterfeiting 'ones' is the fast track to financial freedom and acceptance within the Mob.
I have no idea if the bill is worth more than a dollar, or worth even a dollar – it does still state that it "is legal tender for all debts, public and private" – but that doesn't really matter to me. I'll be happy to hold on to it.
Also, of course, Wikipedia has an entry about Silver Certificates here. It's an interesting read.
Well, this is good news.
Boing Boing: Senators figure out the Broadcast Flag, curse it as an abomination!
Good news indeed.
Freak-out Friday
So. The end of another week full of stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. So much stuff that my head has grown all puffy. Noggin chock full'o stuff. What stuff? you ask. Oh. You know. "Stuff".
Probably the most mind-heavy thing to happen this week was the outing of my blog here at work on Monday. All I can say is, "oops". Well, that and before you fire me read this post. It was as true then as it is now. So far the reaction from my superiors has been favorable, but I've written many things over the past two years. Some of it is mighty weird by "normal" standards. This has me all kinds of freaked out. Enough of that topic. It's making my head dizzy and my stomach hurt.
On a lighter note, this week's IF topic is "Glamour". That ought to be a challenge. I'm sure I'll come up with something this weekend. I already have a seedling of an idea. The decision is weather to play it "cute" or "disconcerting". Hmmm. Flip-a-coin time.
As I was taking a trip down memory lane the other day – also known as "my archives" to cement in my mind just how screwed I might be – I found something that I did on the site over a year ago that was fun. At least it was fun for me. I think it's time I did it again.
This was the way it played out the first time around:
So, this weekend if you would like to participate, please leave a comment with questions either regarding me or whatever you might like to hear my opinion on and I will provide an answer of some sort next week. Very likely the "smart-assed" sort.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Zombieeeeeestuff.
Okay, so OBVIOUSLY this would be of interest to me How to create a freakish zombie in 11 easy steps (Photoshop tutorial). All in all an entertaining lesson. I may give it a shot with one of my own photos.
Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear, sweet, love-of-my-life Heather! Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu!
And many morrrrrrrre!
Shhhhhh!
In October of 2004, Mark Maynard suggested that it would be cool if I turned one of my stories at the time into a comic for his ink & paper 'zine, 'Crimewave USA'. I said, "Surrrre. No problem!"
And that was pretty much that until I received a package from Mark a few weeks ago that contained a nicely assembled book of some of the comics that he had done for an Ann Arbor newspaper and a pleasant "Happy New Year" card that also said, "So, how about that comic you said you would do for Crimewave?"
My mind raced for a second upon reading it for two reasons: First, it was kinda implied that he was holding off publication of the 'zine on account of me. Second, "When the hell did I write that story?"
That's right. I had an entire year and two months to get the comic done, and I hadn't even started it. Didn't even know where in my archives it was. Hell, to be honest, until he mentioned it, I'd forgotten about it entirely. It's very obvious that I don't work well without some kind of concrete deadline.
So I emailed him, asking what the status of things were and when he would need it by. On January 10th he wrote back and said, "OK you have two weeks. Can you fit it in one 8.5 x 11 page, or do you need more?"
I replied that I should be able to fit it on a single page, but at the back of my mind I was thinking, "uh oh..." I don't think the entire text of the original story would have fit on a single 8.5"x11" page at 9 pt. type and 9 pt. leading, much less drawings along with it.
That meant rewriting.
Plus I didn't know what style to do it in. Should I go the tried and true "Half-Assed Comics" route? Should I do something with the cut paper look I've been working on? A bit of both? Something else entirely? Is that a tumor throbbing behind my eye? So, naturally, I did what I always tend to do when I feel overwhelmed. I put it in the back of my mind and hoped it would be sorted out by pixies.
Stupid pixies.
So I spent all last weekend, the final weekend of my deadline, stressing about it, mostly in my head. For a good chunk of the weekend I couldn't work on it because of other engagements that couldn't be postponed. When I found myself with a tinch of time I couldn't kick start the drawing bits of my brain. I WAS however able to re-write the story to a size that should fit depending on the style I used.
Long story short (HAHA! AS IF!) two late nights later I managed to finish it. Right at the squeaky edge of the 14 day deadline. As of this moment I still haven't heard back from Mark, although I did send the files off to him. Overall I think it turned out pretty good. I had an email waiting from Mark this morning and he said he loved it and it will definitely be in the next issue.
Now, of course I can't show you the full comic. That would be unfair to Mark. I'll show a piece, however – a tiny piece – and if you would like to see the rest I encourage you to buy the next copy of 'Crimewave USA' once it is printed. After it's printed I'll show another teaser piece and provide a link to the where you can order it.
Here you go:
Phrases heard as an artist-for-hire and the real meaning behind them.
I borrowed* this list from a post at the Illustration Friday forum by a member named "toonman". It amused me. May it amuse you.
"It's a charity job" - everyone gets paid except you.
"It will give you exposure" - so does selling matches in the snow.
"You'll get your value back on the next jobs" - but not with us, we won't hire you again.
"It's only for the web" - where it will stand for years and be downloaded by millions of people.
"It's for educational purposes" - we are gonna teach you a lesson.
"It's great! But can you make some changes?" - the director's niece made a doodle and he wants it to look just like it.
"We are not a commercial publication" - we sell 40,000 a week and still don't want to pay the talents.
"Just do something quick" - but if it doesn't look awesome you'll get bashed.
"Do something simple" - any idiot can do it, that's why we choose you.
"I can't pay much" - but i don't want it to look cheap.
"We will be in touch" - we found a homeless guy willing to do it for a bottle of wine.
"Can you start ASAP?" - i had it on my desk for weeks, but now it's your problem.
"Because it's for an inside publication only, will it be cheaper?" - just forgot to mention the company is a multinational with more than 100,000 employees.
"Don't spend much time on it" - work all night and charge me half an hour.
"This could mean more jobs in our company" - if you like underpaid toilet cleaning.
"I'd like to send you a copy as a token of our gratitude" - to use as a paperweight for all those unpaid bills.
"Due to crisis, we won't be able to continue using your work" - it was that or downgrade my company car.
"Can you live off that?" - shouldn't you be starving and homeless?
"The check is in the mail" - virtually...
- - -
* Yeah, yeah, okay. Fine. I STOLE this list, but at least I'm attributing the victim... er... "donor". And I made a few cosmetic changes.